REMEMBERING JAN MARCH 22,2015
On March 22, 2011, four years ago today the love of my life departed this earth to be with her Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. She passed out of this life just a couple of feet from where I am seated right now as Patricia ( our local daughter ) and I sat by her bed side holding her hands as she was under the care of hospice and painlessly slipped away. I will never forget that day and the sense of loss that I felt and at the same time the sense of happiness to know that she went immediately into the arms of Jesus being fully restored in health and body. Jan was a very happy person but her earthly happiness cannot compare with the happiness she now experiences. I was talking to a woman the other day who lost her husband a couple of years ago and she told me how she missed him but that friend had told her that it will get easier with time and she asked me if I agreed. I know that it may be different with different people but for me it will never get easier because Jan and I were so close to one another. So much a part of one another. Either one of us would start a sentence and the other one would finish it. For me it is like having an arm or leg cut off and saying that over time I will get over it. Part of me is missing that cannot be replaced. There are literally dozens of times a day that I think of her. Everything in our home she had a major part in selecting it, the color, the fabric. I hear a song, see a picture, go someplace and it reminds me of Jan. Even when I travel I go by a rest stop, eat at a fast food place along the road, stay at a motel and dozens of things like this and I will remember that we ate there, we stayed there, we stopped there or we gathered pine cones or acorns there and am reminded of things she said or did. Short of total memory loss those things will never be forgotten or the loss of my partner Jan will never get any easier.
I don’t want this to sound like it is all about me because it is not. It is about and Jan the impact she had on me and my life while she was living and the impact it has on me now that she is gone. No more hugs, no more “just a minute” and no more softness of her kiss and words of encouragement. Yes I miss her more than words can tell and I can’t wait till we will be united again in heaven and she can tell me and show me all the glorious things she has seen and done.
Our four daughters Janice, Joyce, Patricia and Jamie sent me beautiful roses to put on Jan’s headstone. They are beautiful and I appreciate it and I know Jan would appreciate it. She loved flowers and especially roses.
Jan I love you.